The ticking time bomb
My mum was right.
How could anyone wish to be with someone with such a foul temper?
When I stop to think about it, I definitely wouldn’t sit around and take shit from a know-it-all, my-way-or-the-highway, selfish little shit like myself. It’s amazing to think that my parents have been able to deal with me for the past years. 25 years is not an easy feat. But they can rest easy now, because I have found myself a new victim to direct my full wrath at – my boyfriend Toby.
God help him.
I don’t know why he even bothers? Time and time again, my venomous words come spewing forth from my mouth, my temper flaring to breaking point, over what you ask? Over nothing at all. I can’t even tell you the reason or how or what triggered the sudden attack.
Then all too soon, my temper falls. Words are halted in mid-thought. My mind starts back peddling.
Oh you friggin genius, you’ve done it again. Good job. Well done. Just chase out all the people who care about you.
An apology seems feeble and so incredibly weak in situations like this, but apologise I still do. Of course, he doesn’t respond. So what more can I do to show my regret and my lamentation and that I’m an idiot and a fool? When an apology fails, what other means do I have to make things better?
The answer to that question has so far been an elusive little bugger.
Maybe instead of trying to seek the answer to being forgiven, I should try to look for a diffuser for my foul temper?
Afterall, who has the time and energy to waste on a girlfriend who is a living time bomb, not knowing exactly when or where she’ll blow up again?
And even as I contemplate and lament and cry silently at my foolishness, all I can hear in my head is a tick tick tick…
